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Post by jake on Nov 16, 2006 16:42:33 GMT -4
Know any good jokes?? Here's one,
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightblub ??
Answer: 2, but I can't tell you how they got in there.
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Post by Mike on Nov 16, 2006 16:50:01 GMT -4
*crickets chirping*
But heres my joke...
2 Nuns in the "bath tub", one says pass the soap the other says "okay radio"
And another
So a horse and a chicken are out playing in a field. And the horse falls into a mud puddle and can't get out. So the chicken FLAPS her way up to the barn, but she can't find the farmer anywhere, so she gets in the farmer's BMW and drives it out to the field, and ties a rope around the bumper, and throws the other end to the horse, and the horse grabs on, and the chicken drives the horse out, and so he's rescued and everything's cool. Then the next week they're out playing in the field again, and this time the chicken falls into a mud puddle and can't get out. So the horse GALLOPS up to the barn but he can't find the farmer. He tries to get in the BMW, but he's too big, he won't fit. So he gallops back out to the field and says, "Okay, chicken, here's what I'm gonna do. I'll stretch out over the puddle, and you reach up and grab onto my, uh, snickerdoodle, and I'll pull you out." So the horse stretches over the puddle and the chicken reaches up and pulls herself out, and so she's safe and everything's cool. So anyway, the moral of the story is, if you're hung like a horse you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
Ohhhhhhhhh - Andrew Dice Clay
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Post by baycitydan on Nov 16, 2006 17:20:29 GMT -4
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But. what happened to your other ear?" "The son of a bi!ch called back."
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
The prostitute can wash off her crack and resell it!
Why does Michael Jackson like shagging twenty eight year olds?
Because there's twenty of them!
A Jaguar driver was trying to find a parking space in the town when he spies this handicapped spot right outside the store. He quickly zooms into this spot and just as he's about to jump out of the flash car this overweight Policeman comes up to him and says smugly:-
"And what might your disability be sir???"
The Jag driver clearly startled repiles:-
"Tourettes, Now F*ck off ya fat b@stard''!
;D
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Post by jake on Nov 16, 2006 18:44:35 GMT -4
A zebra dies and arrives at the pearly gates where he's greeted by St. peter. St. peter asks him if he has any question before entering heaven, and the zebra says yes, I have always wondered, I'm I white over black, or black over white?? St. peter told him to seek out God in heaven and he would be able to answer his question. So the zebra entered heaven and soon found God, where he put the question to god, God I've always wanted to know, I'm I white over black, or black over white? God answers the zebra in his all-knowing voice, "YOU ARE WHAT YOU!". The zebra confused, thanked God, and walked back to where St. peter was. St. peter asked the zebra if god had answered his question and the zebra said he had, but he couldn't really understand the answer. St peter ask what Gods answer was, The zebra told him god said "YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE!". St. peter then replied, so you are white over black! The zebra asked how do you know that? and St. peter replied, If you were black over white God would have said "YOU IS WHAT YOU IS!".
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Post by Frank on Nov 17, 2006 7:51:42 GMT -4
Did you hear the one about the plastic surgeon that hung himself?
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Post by alanr on Nov 17, 2006 12:13:24 GMT -4
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Post by shadow1 on Nov 17, 2006 12:49:00 GMT -4
alanr -
You got me ;D
I was thinking, what the hell was it doing on this thread.
Should have known better, but did actually throw someone elses name in it.
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